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This is how I feel right now -
So very fucking angry. Had an awful day. Pissed off.
(explicit language)
I've just been having a shitty day. My morning was normal and happy, half of my school day was normal and happy; the second half was complete hell. Trying to take a fucking test, and everyone won't sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Testing time is for taking the fucking test, not screaming your lungs out with what you call 'singing.' Trying to take a fucking test. My ears felt like they were about to gush blood. Then FINALLY peace (if you can even call it that) and then the test finishes. And then they just start caterwauling again. And I'm already really fucking angry. And then the person behind me starts kicking my fucking chair. I have a pet peeve against the chair or table I'm using moving, just gets me so fucking mad. I want to go strangle the life out of something. Fucking mother of fuck son of a bitch.
I mentioned somewhere that I have a part of me that rarely shows that is like Zehnder. Yeah, that showed up today. I swear I was so close to just stabbing someone with my pencil. I try to keep my Zehndy side hidden. But it's so fucking hard when people won't shut the fuck up. Thank God I don't drink or smoke as much as he does. But fuck, it looks like I'm swearing as much as he does.
Then I get home; and my computer lamp's light bulb dies. So now I have to fix that. And then the internet goes out. Now I have to go fix that too. My leg hurts, my back is killing me, UGH. I am so thankful for my cat; she just seems to be able to sense when I'm feeling awful and she starts acting all cute and purring and rolling around with a little mouse toy. Ugh I love her so much.
So I need some help; all I manage to do with my anger is bottle it up day after day and then it explodes in rage.
I need more ways to vent anger, so far the only ways I have is writing it down and video games. Those two only take away a little bit of it. Listening to music helps suppress it; but bottling it isn't healthy. If you guys have any good ways to vent stress I'd love to hear it.
Now to try and vent some more I am off to Skyrim. Gonna kill some innocent people. Maybe shoot a few knees. Kill some animals. Eat some people. Rob people blind. Collect wine. Shout at people. Pickpocket. All that good stuff. If that doesn't work then I'm off to New York green zone to kill more innocent people and Blackwatch. Preferably using whipfist. My favorite weapon for Alex Mercer.
I'm not going to respond to any comments for a while; maybe a few hours. I don't want to accidentally snap at you guys. I love you too much. Ugh. Not going to respond until I'm my happy self again. I think I'll just turn on loud music. Maybe 'Smile smile smile', that might make me calm down.
Apologies for those waiting for something from me, be it a commission or request. As you can tell; I just don't feel like it right now.
So yes; I'd appreciate new knowledge on more ways to vent things. Vent art just doesn't really do it for me. Now I'm going to leave for a bit, calm down.
So very fucking angry. Had an awful day. Pissed off.
(explicit language)
I've just been having a shitty day. My morning was normal and happy, half of my school day was normal and happy; the second half was complete hell. Trying to take a fucking test, and everyone won't sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. Testing time is for taking the fucking test, not screaming your lungs out with what you call 'singing.' Trying to take a fucking test. My ears felt like they were about to gush blood. Then FINALLY peace (if you can even call it that) and then the test finishes. And then they just start caterwauling again. And I'm already really fucking angry. And then the person behind me starts kicking my fucking chair. I have a pet peeve against the chair or table I'm using moving, just gets me so fucking mad. I want to go strangle the life out of something. Fucking mother of fuck son of a bitch.
I mentioned somewhere that I have a part of me that rarely shows that is like Zehnder. Yeah, that showed up today. I swear I was so close to just stabbing someone with my pencil. I try to keep my Zehndy side hidden. But it's so fucking hard when people won't shut the fuck up. Thank God I don't drink or smoke as much as he does. But fuck, it looks like I'm swearing as much as he does.
Then I get home; and my computer lamp's light bulb dies. So now I have to fix that. And then the internet goes out. Now I have to go fix that too. My leg hurts, my back is killing me, UGH. I am so thankful for my cat; she just seems to be able to sense when I'm feeling awful and she starts acting all cute and purring and rolling around with a little mouse toy. Ugh I love her so much.
So I need some help; all I manage to do with my anger is bottle it up day after day and then it explodes in rage.
I need more ways to vent anger, so far the only ways I have is writing it down and video games. Those two only take away a little bit of it. Listening to music helps suppress it; but bottling it isn't healthy. If you guys have any good ways to vent stress I'd love to hear it.
Now to try and vent some more I am off to Skyrim. Gonna kill some innocent people. Maybe shoot a few knees. Kill some animals. Eat some people. Rob people blind. Collect wine. Shout at people. Pickpocket. All that good stuff. If that doesn't work then I'm off to New York green zone to kill more innocent people and Blackwatch. Preferably using whipfist. My favorite weapon for Alex Mercer.
I'm not going to respond to any comments for a while; maybe a few hours. I don't want to accidentally snap at you guys. I love you too much. Ugh. Not going to respond until I'm my happy self again. I think I'll just turn on loud music. Maybe 'Smile smile smile', that might make me calm down.
Apologies for those waiting for something from me, be it a commission or request. As you can tell; I just don't feel like it right now.
So yes; I'd appreciate new knowledge on more ways to vent things. Vent art just doesn't really do it for me. Now I'm going to leave for a bit, calm down.
'SUP. Mechya gomen!
SO. Haven't been on in a while. Obviously. Sorry. Missed you guys. Hmm.
See, thing is, prepare for a bunch of excuses, but, being a senior there's like, a looot of things stressing the hell out of me. Mainly college things. And I did not have the spoons to draw/write things and freak out about college and future plans at the same time. Graduation is rapidly arriving and it is pretty damn scary. I thought I could deal with both but apparently I am weaker than I thought I was, hehe.
BUT! Much of that stress is gone now, namely college acceptance and some senior plan things. So! I will probably actually start doing things again.
Again! Very s
Devious Journal Entry
Ayo little embarrassed about this but, apparently some sections of comments have disappeared from my message box, I think I accidentally deleted them but I don't remember a thing, ahahaahhahehhahah . . .
What I'm more concerned about here is the Ask questions, yes that is not dead I've recently been looking for a question to spark inspiration to start it up again. And basically all of the questions disappeared. Idk how long they've been gone though 'cause I haven't been too active lately.
Soo if you've asked a question in the past, idk, 3 months that you really really really want answered then ask it again, and please try to ask something i
Devious Journal Entry
Yoo thank you for all the happy birthdays ;w; love you guys. Sorry but I'm not going to reply to every one of them because it'll be pretty much the same thing again and again myah, but seriously though love you guys c:
Sorry haven't been on too much, lots of things happening/happened and on top of that I am addicted to skyrim again, and monster hunter.
I do want to draw again though but I never seem to find the time between the school and the, dragon fighting.
Can't think of anything else to say so thank you guys again and love you guys <3
Devious Journal Entry
EDIT: ALSO! [putting this at the top because why not] please don't go around saying that I wouldn't be around if it weren't for a specific person. Yes a year or two ago I did have suicidal-ish thoughts but what solved that was many things including you guys as a whole so don't go around giving one person credit. If I had to pick one person or something then I'd just give it to daft punk. Don't want to single out one person because then it's like ooooh you saved my liiiiiife I totally owe you now.
okay so, I guess I just got to address this issue right now. giving me a whole lot of stress tbh but I guess I shall, please don't be dicks because
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I feel your pain on the test thing and all the people screaming and singing -_-