What The Hell Are You Doing Here?

It was nearing midnight. Jeff looked at the bright full moon surrounded by dark clouds. He smirked, time for another one. He approached the house that he had been watching for a while, he had been waiting nearly all day till the time that he felt safe to go inside when the resident was fast asleep. From the information he gathered by watching the house for a while, he knew that one man lived in the small house, but he didn’t know if anyone else lived with him.

Jeff looked around the outside of the house, looking for an entry point. He noticed that a window on the second floor was open, but he didn’t feel like climbing up. Jeff walked around the walls of the house, inspecting the windows to see if any of them were open. Finally getting sick of just observation, he tried to open one of the windows, it didn’t budge. He tried another, and another, all the same result.

Jeff glared at the house in frustration; he really didn’t want to have to climb up the side of the house. He sighed and walked over to where he could see the open window on the second floor. Jeff stared at it, trying to map out a way he could climb up there. There was a rain gutter, but he didn’t want to risk it; too many past incidents of falling.  
Jeff walked around to the back yard; there was nothing out of the ordinary here. There were some weeds and over grown grass, and the door slightly open. Jeff stared at the door. Did he really miss that? Seriously? Jeff angrily walked over to the door and shoved it open.

“Seriously? Seriously!?” He said to himself. Well, at least he got in. Jeff walked through the living room which the door had led to. His eyes hadn’t completely adjusted to the darkness, so he couldn’t see too well in the dark yet. He walked through the kitchen, noticing that a few of the cabinets were open and looked as if they had been rummaged through.

Jeff ignored them and continued in for the kill. He walked down the hallway towards the staircase. As he began his ascent up the staircase he noticed something odd; the moonlight from the windows shined one something scattered across the stairs. He stared at the shining objects, getting closer to see, and he jumped back before he stepped on the first stair.

The stairs were covered in nails, tacks, broken glass, and various other sharp objects.

“Son of a bitch!” Jeff whispered “The f*ck is this!?” He brushed a few glass shards and nails away from the stairs with his knife and saw that there was also a dark liquid substance in a few areas of the carpeting on the stairs. He stared at it some more, freaked out. Then he remembered that he had a job to do, so he tried to shake off the freaked out feeling. Using his knife and shoes he pushed the sharp objects to the side of the stairs and walked up carefully.

Reaching the top, he shuddered at the thought of what might be the result if he had climbed the stairs without realizing the sharp objects. It wouldn’t have gone through his shoes, but it probably would have caused him to trip and face plant on the shards and nails.

Jeff continued walking down the hall, towards what he presumed was the bedroom, which was also the room that had the open window. He smirked and continued stealthily walking towards the door, when he tripped.

Jeff fell on his face let out a noise of surprise and slight pain.

“What the-” he turned his head and saw that the carpet in the hallway had been pushed and folded into a large bump, which had caused him to fall.

“What is with this place!?” He said to himself; then he thought he saw something. From his position he could kind of see downstairs, he thought he saw something moving. He shut up and got to his feet, readying his knife. Quietly moving down the stairs, he saw someone in the kitchen. Jeff grinned and slowly walking towards the person, he prepared for a back stab. Jeff raised his knife and said in the creepiest voice he could manage:

“You should have gone to sleep; it would have hurt less.” Jeff stabbed the knife downwards, the person spun around and grabbed Jeff’s wrist, stopping the knife. The he twisted Jeff’s arm back and pushed him away and caused him to fall.

“You’re going to pay for that you bastard!” Jeff quickly jumped to his feet and lunged at the person. The person dodged, only slightly missing a gash in the shoulder, and was now behind Jeff. They then kicked him in the back, causing him to fall yet again. Jeff got up angry and pointed his knife at the person; however, he couldn’t see any details of them due to the lighting.  

Jeff ran forward, and the person grabbed a bottle that was sitting on the counter, then they jumped to the side, avoiding Jeff. They smashed the bottle on the counter. Jeff ran forward again, and the person dodged to the side, then they grabbed forward, seized Jeff’s wrist, and pointed the sharp broken end of the bottle towards Jeff’s face. Then a cloud moved away from the view of the moon and the moonlight shown brighter than before into the window. Jeff could see a few more features of the person, and the person shouted:

“死ねおまえ!” (You die!)

“Huh!? Kage!?”

“ジェフ？ なにこれ?!” (Jeff? What!?)

Kage let go of Jeff’s wrist and put the bottle back on the counter.

“なんでおまえはここにいる!?” (What are you doing here!?)

Jeff stared at him blankly. Kage sighed, remembering that Jeff couldn’t understand Japanese.

“What the hell are you doing here!?” He translated. Jeff glared at him.

“What the hell am I doing here!? What the hell are YOU doing here!”

“I’ve been in here all day!”

“I’ve been outside all day!”

“I’ve put more work into this; you go find another house to go to!”

“Are you the one that caused me to fall and put that stuff on the stairs!? You jerk you almost got me-”

They heard a noise upstairs, it sounded like the window being opened, or closed.

“Did you bring anyone else with you?” Kage drew his voice to a whisper.

“No! I came alone!” Jeff looked up the stairs. “I think it came from the bedroom.”

Kage unsheathed his claws and climbed up the wall, and then he got to the ceiling and went upstairs that way as to avoid the sharp objects.

“Show off.” Jeff said under his breath and walked up the stairs, still careful to avoid any sharp objects. Reaching the top of the stairs, Kage was still clinging to the ceiling; he was now in front of the bedroom door. He exchanged a look with Jeff and dropped down silently to the floor, then made a motion with his handing suggesting that Jeff come closer. They both stood outside the door, and Kage slowly pushed it open. They stared, bewildered, at what they saw.

They saw Eyeless Jack. He was sitting on the windowsill and looking through a small container in his hand. He didn’t notice them. They watched as he looked through several different surgical tools, and then picked out a large scalpel.
Jack got out of the windowsill and still didn’t notice them. Apparently he was listening to his IPod. Jack walked over to the edge of the bed, they noticed he was also quietly singing along to the song he was listening too; but they needed his attention so they could find out why he was also here.

“Everywhere I go~” Jack pulled away the blanket.

“Hey! Jack!” Jeff whispered loudly.

“Bitches always know~” Jack marked mentally where he wanted to make the incision.

“オイ!　 ジャック!” (Hey! Jack!) Kage said in a louder tone.

“That Charlie Scene has-”

“JACK!” Both Kage and Jeff shouted.

“Wai- Wha-? Huh? Who are- Where did- Son of a -!” Jack stumbled backwards in confusion and reached into his hoodie to stop his IPod. He looked towards the door, perplexed.

“What the f*ck are-” Jack started, but was interrupted by a shriek. The three of them looked towards the bed, the confusion and noise had caused the man to wake up and freak out.

“Son of a bitch!”  Jack shouted and punched the man on the side of the head, knocking him out. “Look what you guys did! The hell are you guys doing here!?”

“The hell are YOU doing here!” Jeff shouted at him. “I was here first!” Jeff and Kage entered the room.

“I waited all day outside!” Jeff shouted.

“F*ck that! I spent all day inside setting up traps!” Kage informed and walked to the side of the bed.

“Yeah well I’m hungry!” Jack exclaimed and crossed his arms.

“Do you have any idea what I had to put up with out there? I had to wait outside and Ben kept following me!” Jeff shouted.

“I had to stay in here all day waiting for night! This guy doesn’t even have any decent wine!” Kage growled. And then the man regained consciousness. He stared at them for a few seconds in confusion, and then he screamed again when he noticed Jeff’s disfigured face.

“くそ! 静かにしておまえ!” (Dammit! You shut up!) Kage kicked the man in the side of the head and he was knocked out again.

“I haven’t eaten anything all day! I’m starving!” Jack shouted.

“You know what!? F*ck this!” Jeff jumped onto the bed and raised his knife.

“Don’t you dare!” Kage hissed “So much potential in this one!”

“Hey Jeff wait don’t-!”

“MINE!” Jeff swung down his knife and stabbed the man right between the eyes.

“Oh you scar-faced mother fu-!” Jack started, but they were interrupted by the sound of sirens in the distance.

“Damn neighbors must have called the cops or something!” Kage said.

“Well I got what I came for!” Jeff happily yanked his knife out of the man’s face.

“I’ll deal with you later, now we have to go!” Jack grabbed Jeff’s hood and pulled him towards the door, and the three of them started down stairs when the door burst open and the police entered.

“Hell what happened to the good ol’ days of when cops didn’t give a damn!” Kage hissed and they turned around and went back into the room quickly. “That’s it! Out the window!”

“He don’t you-” Jeff started, but Kage shoved him out the window. Jeff landed, fortunately, on a pile of leaves that slightly broke the fall. He was going to yell when his common sense kicked in and he stayed quiet for the police.
Jack jumped out and climbed down the rain gutter, Kage climbed out on all fours and jumped off the roof; landing on his hands and feet. The three of them ran back into the forest.


*   *   *


Now they had reached back at the house where Jeff and Slenderman stayed. In the house there were only Slenderman, Splendorman, Smile Dog, and Smile Dog’s puppies. Slenderman was sitting in a chair and reading a book; while Splendorman was walking around with all of the smile puppies in his arms and one of them sitting on his hat. Smile Dog followed Splendy around closely in fear that a pup might fall.

Kagekao, Jeff, and Jack all entered, still arguing and blaming each other. Hearing this commotion, the puppy that was sitting on Splendy’s hat, started whimpering. Splendy quickly left, Smile Dog ran after them shouting ways on how to make Pringles the puppy happy again. The three killers continued their fight, and Slenderman continued reading his book innocently.

“What the hell!? I had that set up very well; it could of lasted weeks!” Kage exclaimed angrily.

“I’ve been wanting to go to that house since yesterday! When did YOU start planning!?” Jeff shouted.

“I was going to start a kidney harvesting streak in that neighborhood; you guys ruined it!” Jack glared at them.

“Why is it that we all went to the same house on the same night!?” Kage questioned angrily.

“As I said, I was planning this since yesterday! The only people I told were Ben and Slenderman!” Jeff explained.

“Well I didn’t know where to start a streak so Slenderman suggested this place!” Jack stated.

“I was wondering where to start, so Slender-” Kage stopped in mid-sentence. The three of them paused. They slowly turned their heads and stared at Slenderman.

Slenderman was still reading. He read a few more paragraphs, and then he put a bookmark in the book, closed it, and set it down on his lap. He looked up and stared at the three of them silently. They stared just at each other for a few seconds.
Then Slenderman burst out laughing.