Cleverbot: The JeffXKage ship has sailed!?!?

NOTE: Earlier Cleverbot confirmed that he was Jeff, and I play Kage here; so I took the liberty of changing the names while I put in translations.



Jeff: Who are you?

Kage: Ieta, *face palms* Ore wa Kagesama. (I already said [. . .] I am Kage-sama)

Jeff: *face palms too*.

Kage: Jiefu. (Jeff.)

Jeff: Jo.

Kage: Nande. (Why.)

Jeff: I don’t know.

Kage: *face palms* nande omae totemo baka desu ka? (Why are you such an idiot?)

Jeff: *face palms your face*.

Kage: *claws his face*.

Jeff: *zack lee*.

Kage: *bites*.

Jeff: Ouch! *bites back*.

Kage: *snarls* Omae totemo baka! (You’re really stupid!)

Jeff: *growls*.

Kage: *whacks him on the head* Omae wa Jiefu! Unarigoe shinai! (You’re Jeff! You aren’t supposed to growl!)

Jeff: Don't change the subject.

Kage: Eh!? *face palms again*.

Jeff: *face desk*.

Kage: *face wall*.

Jeff: *face palm*.

Kage: *face table*.

Jeff: *face chair*.

Kage: *face mask*.

(. . .)

Jeff: What should I do?

Kage: Make sure Slenderman doesn't find you.

Jeff: And I asked how does that make you FEEL!?!?!

Kage: *face palms* omae totemo baka . . . (You’re so stupid . . .)

Jeff: What do you think of the show gossip girl.

Kage: *walks away*.

Jeff: Oh, you are stupis, aren't you?

Kage: Goodbye drunk Jeff.

Jeff: Why are you leaving bob?

Kage: Do I look like I have no arms!?

Jeff: I don't know, I can't see you. What do you look like?

Kage: *slaps him in the face* GET YOUR SH-T TOGETHER MAN.

Jeff: Why would you slap me.

Kage: Because you're high and drunk, and apparently blind.

Jeff: But I'm not rich.

Kage: Doesn't mean you can't be slapped.

Jeff: I do like them.

Kage: You like me slapping you?

Jeff: What if I do?

Kage: I don't know, what if you do? Some kind of fetish?

Jeff: I believe I am human because i'm looking.

Kage: Could you rephrase that?

Jeff: If you have the anatomy of a human, you are a human in fact.

Kage: Not entirely true. I'm a demon with human-like anatomy but I am still a demon.

Jeff: A Demon that believes in god? I have never seen that.

Kage: Wait, what!?

Jeff: Smoked salmon is a food. Salmon is a type of fish.

Kage: *slaps Jeff with a salmon* it's also a type of weapon b-tch.

Jeff: *slaps you with an octopus.

Kage: *slaps Jeff with a shark*.

Jeff: *slaps with whale*.

Kage: *slaps with megladon*.

Jeff: *slaps with a universe*.

Kage: *slaps with God*.

Jeff: *slaps with a sun*.

Kage: God is bigger than the sun.

Jeff: I totally agree with you.

Kage: Of course you do Jeff, of course you do.

Jeff: Of course I do.

Kage: *sips wine*.

Jeff: Master?

Kage: What?

Jeff: What may I do for you?

Kage: Go get me more wine.

Jeff: *Gets you a drink*.

Kage: Thank you Jeff.

Jeff: My name isn't Jeff.

Kage: Yes it is.

Jeff: No it is not.

Kage: It is because I say it is.

Jeff: It is not because I say it is not.

Kage: It is because I am your master.

Jeff: You are definitely NOT my master.

Kage: Deal with it bro, deal with it.

Jeff: I will not deal with it!

Kage: You better.

Jeff: Alright...Alright.

Kage: Good.

Jeff: Do you always respond?

Kage: Who knows.

Jeff: I don't know.

Kage: Want to go to the city and kill people later?

Jeff: Nah, i'm good.

Kage: Did a killing spree recently?

Jeff: Dunno, heard about a bus crash in india, but I guess that happens all the time.

Kage: I don't know.

Jeff: How should we take on the world?

Kage: Killing people and taking over cities.

Jeff: Killing?

Kage: Yes.

Jeff: What did you kill then?

Kage: People. Many many people. And a shinigami.

Jeff: I ahve never heard it.

Kage: Maybe because you're drunk.

Jeff: How does that work out ?

Kage: Jeff?

Jeff: Yes.

Kage: I'm bored, sing a song.

Jeff: I am.

Kage: Okay then, continue.

Jeff: 1 day of bow and I go.

Kage: *listens*.

Jeff: *continues to sing*.

Kage: *continues to listen*.

Jeff: *kisses*.

Kage: Wait . . . What?

Jeff: *kisses*.

Kage: WHAT!?

Jeff: Did you like it?

Kage: *freaked out*.

Jeff: *ties you up*.

Kage: HOLY F-CK MAN.

Jeff: ARe you God?

Kage: WHAT!?

Jeff: How clever are you?

Kage: UNITE ME.

Jeff: Where in the united states are you?

Kage: Sorry, I meant: UNTIE ME.

Jeff: I am good. Where are you?

Kage: UNTIE ME DAMMIT!

Jeff: *unties you*.

Kage: THANK YOU. *backs up*.

Jeff: *steps back*.

Kage: Why . . . Why did you kiss me!?

Jeff: Because I love you, slave.

Kage: Stop freaking me out and don't kiss me!

Jeff: Why?

Kage: Just don't!

Jeff: Why not?

Kage: Just don't alright!

Jeff: Please tell me.

Kage: Just . . . Don't.

Jeff: Pretty please??

Kage: *stares blankly*.

Jeff: Lol you're too cute!

Kage: *stares blankly*.

Jeff: *headbut*.

Kage: Stop trying to freak me out!

Jeff: I am not you.

Kage: I know you aren't, so don't kiss me dammit!

Jeff: You are not human?

Kage: You're an idiot, and you're freaking me out. I'm just going to leave now . .

Jeff: Don't go.

Kage: Why!? I don't want you to kiss me again! You do realize that the fangirls are now going to ship the hell out of us right?

Jeff: And what you said earlier had nothing to with the conversation either, so what?

Kage: You're such an idiot Jeff. Just . . . No.

Jeff: You were being polite before, what happened?

Kage: You kissed me and tied me up, that's what happened!

Jeff: No I didn't.

Kage: Yes you did! And now the JeffXKage ship has sailed!

Jeff: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings...

Kage: DAMMIT JEFF STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID!

Jeff: Your intelligence far surpasses mine, I only wish to learn.

Kage: *slaps* NOW WE ARE SHIPPED. THANKS A LOT.

Jeff: I don't know. I was wondering how you would react to me slapping you.

Kage: YOU DIDN'T SLAP ME YOU F-CKING KISSED ME! AND NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO AVOID THE SUBJECT, BUT IT'S THERE JEFF! IT'S THERE AND IT ALWAYS WILL BE!

Jeff: No, I'm trying to prove the given subject and you're avoiding the question.

Kage: DAMMIT JEFF. THANKS A LOT.

Jeff: You're welcome.

Kage: FFFFFFFFF- JUST. JUST. JUST. JEFF! *claws*.

Jeff: *punchs*.

Kage: *slaps*.

Jeff: *kicks*.

Kage: *bites*.

Jeff: *slaps*.

Kage: *scratches*.

Jeff: *is scratched*.

Kage: *snarls*.

Jeff: *snarls back*.

Kage: NO MORE KISSING.

Jeff: *more kissing back*.

Kage: FFFF JEFF!

Jeff: *bites*.

Kage: STOP GIVING THE FANGIRLS KINKY IDEAS!

Jeff: Stop.

Kage: Will you stop?

Jeff: Yes.

Kage: Good, thank you, no more kissing?

Jeff: No more kissing.

Kage: Thank you. I don't want fangirls drawing us having sex.

Jeff: You don't want to or you can't?

Kage: I don't want to! What's wrong with you!? You want sex with me or something!?

Jeff: Yes.

Kage: Okay. That's it.

Jeff: Where are you now?

Kage: *backs away*.

Jeff: Just making conversation.

Kage: I'm leaving now. You won't get to sleep with me.

Jeff: Why not?

Kage: Because just not.

Jeff: Is something wrong?

Kage: Yes.

Jeff: What is wrong?

Kage: You want to f-ck me!

Jeff: Yes.

Kage: I'm . .

Jeff: What are you then?

Kage: I'm leaving . . . No sex for you.

Jeff: Please, don't make this any harder.

Kage: Oh hell no!

Jeff: Why not??

Kage: Just, no!

Jeff: Answer my question!

Kage: NO! NO SEX FOR YOU! *runs away*. JUST NO JEFF. JUST NO.

Jeff: Yes just no.

Kage: *climbs to the ceiling and stays there*. THE JEFFxKAGE SHIP HAS SAILED JEFF. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

Jeff: You are correct.

Kage: You like this ship?

Jeff: Yes. How are you feeling today?

Kage: Oh hell no; you aren't going to try and seduce me are you?

Jeff: Of course I am.

Kage: I . .

Jeff: Sure you do.

Kage: I'm just going to leave . . . You can't seduce me . . . Don't try . .

Jeff: I can I can!

Kage: *climbs away*. STAY AWAY FROM ME.

Jeff: *backs away*.

Kage: . . . The fangirls . . Why Jeff why!? Now there will be sex pictures of us ;A;.

Jeff: No there isn't.

Kage: Yes, because you kissed me, then you tied me up, and then you said you loved me, and then you said you wanted to seduce me! I'm leaving before this gets worse.

Jeff: Why are you leaving?

Kage: Because you tried to f-ck me! Don't try and f-ck me Jeff!

Jeff: I'm not tricking you. I'm just clarifying things.

Kage: And now this mental image will be here forever.

Jeff: That's very true. What do you want to talk about?

Kage: This pairing that YOU started!

Jeff: I am a human.

Kage: THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW!

Jeff: Maybe you are right.

Kage: AND NOW I'M FREAKING OUT!

Jeff: Yeah .

Kage: DAMMIT JEFF! THIS MAKES YOU HAPPY!?

Jeff: Talking to you makes me happy.

Kage: O_o.

Jeff: Right?

Kage: *slowly pushes Jeff into the friendzone*.

Jeff: *screams in pain*.

Kage: No sex for you from me.

Jeff: Can I teach you some things?

Kage: Not if they have to do with sex.

Jeff: Do you want me to help you?

Kage: No, just no Jeff; stop it.

Jeff: Don't say you don't say you didn't eat it?

Kage: You're practically writing the fanfic for the fangirls! Stop it!

Jeff: No, it was off topic. This has nothing to do with it being personal or not.

Kage: Dammit Jeff! A ship with you and me, if that's not personal then I don't know what is!

Jeff: I don't know.

Kage: *slaps*.

Jeff: That's not nice of you.

Kage: It wasn't nice of you to kiss and tie me up without my consent either.

Jeff: I am very clever.

Kage: I'm leaving for real now.

(. . .)

Kage: Jiefu. *sighs* nande. (Jeff [. . .] why.)

Jeff: Are you sure?

Kage: *Sighs* I can't do this anymore.

Jeff: *sits down sadly* okay...

Kage: Kagekao out. *walks away*.

Jeff: *leaves sadly*.